Update on 2/6/08

2/6/08
Who would have that the day before my BIG birthday, I would be driving up to Seattle (ok so maybe if it were anywhere but a hospital!)? I am going to pack a little bag of essentials just in case we end up being admitted back again. His little body is slowly but surely healing up. He had a hard day yesterday but today is doing better, with a full night of sleep. His arm is even bending more, about 80 degree angle I would say which is signs of big improvements, though I am not sure it is enough. These first few days set the tone for the next few months of healing and it is not going as well as the physical theraphist would like. Please pray for our 2:00 appointment and that we would be prepared for whatever the outcome.....

(picture of Mattie and his friend Hope at the hospital on our last full day, Sunday!)

Excerpt from MOPS Newsletter (christi)

Many of you know about what happened to Mattie Bekken, Heidi's son, a little over a week ago. Mattie was in the kitchen helping his mom and brother make dinner when he and his brother found a wishbone and they decided to make a wish. Pulling as hard as they could, Mattie flew backward and knocked a pot of boiling water off the stove and all over himself. It has been a tragic and trying week and a half so far for their family as Mattie had to be admitted to Harborview Hospital in Seattle where he and his mom stayed for more than a week. Thankfully, they are back home now, but by no means are they out of the woods. Mattie may need to have surgery on his elbow area because it is slower to heal than they had hoped. Keep Mattie and his family in your prayers.

Life can be so full of surprises, both wonderful and sometimes tragic. Things happen sometimes that are completely beyond our control. The only thing we can control is how we choose to deal with the circumstances. This story is incredibly sad and I will tell you that it was very hard to watch little Mattie struggle to even walk and get around when I visited him in the hospital. However, I am not writing this to tell you only about the struggles and the difficulties faced by Mattie and his family, but about the amazing story of strength and faith that underscores this entire event. Heidi has been responsible this last week for what is probably one of the most difficult things she has ever had to do. When Mattie is hurting, she tells him to keep going for his own good. The doctors have told her that in order to heal properly he needs to be moving his arms and legs. This is so painful for him and Heidi not only has to watch him hurt, but urge him on no matter how hard it is. In addition, she has had to learn to bathe and clean his wounds which included rubbing the burns. I know that all of us can relate to how challenging this must be. Some of her closest relatives even fainted just watching, but Heidi pushes on. How? Here is an excerpt from an email she sent out the fifth day of their hospital stay:

"As I write this email, my mind thinks of so many passages in the Bible about running the race. The race we are in is not of the body or time, but of the heart. Enduring through the pain, the setbacks, the trials of the heart and enduring with the strength that only our Heavenly Father can give. He will minister to me, and only give me as much as I can handle each day. I trust in the Lord and lean not on my own understanding."

Heidi has the choice right now, she could sit back and look at the circumstances and feel overwhelmed and like giving up, or she can choose to draw her strength from the Lord, trusting that He will never give her more than she can handle. She knows that He is in control and as she looks to Him, she has found the verse to be true where Jesus says, My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. She is weak and circumstances are beyond her control, but He supplies her with the strength she needs. Just as little Mattie's healing relies on her strength to push him on even when it hurts, she knows that she can count on God to provide her with the strength needed to persevere even when it seems too much to handle. It is in these times of great suffering and need when we realize our own inability to control difficult circumstances that we can find the victory in Christ. By choosing to give Him full control, trust and love we know that He will see us through and that our race will not be in vain, but to His glory.

Update on 2/5/08

2/5/08
We had a hard first night at home....after days of sleeping all night at the hospital it was not our luck last night. I went to bed late after trying to put together this blog and as I closed my eyes I heard Mattie's little voice calling to me down the hall as he stumbled his way into our room. He was smelly as he wet himself and was in pain from the bandages shifting. I did what I could for him to try to create comfort but about an hour later he arose vomiting in his sleep. The entire 5-6 hours until the sun came up are a blur of vomiting, apply medication to burns and trying to comfort without touching his sensative skin.
We called the burn clinic once it opened and they said that since we are coming in tomorrow they were not concerned about the vomiting. He had that condition when we first started at Harbor View.

2/4/08 "Home"

" Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home "

As we drove into Orting, I have never felt so comforted! The thought of having privacy, not seeing a nurse at 4 am to check Mattie's vitals and give him meds alone comforted my heart as we rounded the corner onto our street. The signs on the door made by Jackie (Jason's mom) and Jayden greeted us: "Welcome home Mattie!" and comforted Mattie and I both. We immediately settled in on the couch, exhausted from the day....even with all of our "Load" from the car surrounding us!
I need to give an update on our discharge process and departure of the hospital before I jump ahead of myself:
We finally got our therphy time with Jodi, which was the most challenging part of the day. She was quite discouraged about his elbow joint. There was concern of it not healing correctly, and she considered having Mattie stay another day or so. I was feeling so discouraged and we talked about what HAS to be done, to heal. The discomfort and agony he faces as we force his muscles in his elbow to contract may torture our hearts but it is for his good. Easy to say, hard to carry out. I was honest with Jodi and said I have already faced so much being his primary caregiver for the last 8 days straight and having to do intense theraphy on top of it while in the hospital would not be healthy for him or I. I honestly felt the only chance we had was to work on things in the comfort of our home. We consulted the doctor who agreed to letting us give it a try and then return for a evaluation on Wednesday in the burn clinic.
Having said this you can imagine our joy once Mattie had his regular clothes and shoes on, and decided to walk and race us in the halls! He only walked with a slight bend compared to the normal hunchback walk he was doing for most of our hospital stay! He ate 1/2 a hot dog and a bowl of fruit as well as veggies (the most he has eaten). People did not look at him funny or ask questions as looking at him you could not tell he had any medical problems. Mattie still was itching but the complaints were minimal. I was praising God as I already am seeing a change in him, because of the change in enviroment....
I know the Lord is healing his little body and it gives me joy to be close enough to obseve every step of the way! (The pic above is Mattie's new skin on his hand as the old falls away!)

Homeward Bound

Feb. 4th, 2008
We are on the homestrech of leaving the hospital...but it is going to take awhile to get out of here. We had to push up tub time today from 8:30 am to 11:00 since we have had a hard time yesterday evening and this morning with itching wounds which lead to little sleep (for both mama and baby boy). The doctors and nurses are encouraged by the itching and sensativity to the wound areas because that means that there is healing going on...but it means there is more pain to manage. We had to do majority of the wound dressings on our own, which was challenging. Before we head out we are have to have a physical theraphy session with Jodi which means we should be home late today. Going home will be more comfy but there is a long road ahead. We have a long road to full recovery, with or without possible surgery. Please remember us in your prayers, and we will keep you updated!

Our wonderful Children's Leader at church, Vicky was such a blessing to us! She not only came up to visit us with Suzanne and Nathan, but also arranged for her sister (who lives in Seattle) to bring us dinner for Saturday night! She has a heart of gold and true wisdom from above. You can see her heart as she writes this message on her blog. Vicky, you are a gift to know and I am so blessed by you! Thanks for caring for and supporting us through this trying time......

Friday, February 1, 2008

Seeing Jesus
"Yesterday, I went to visit Mattie Bekken and his mom, Heidi. Suzanne and Nathan met me after work and we drove up to Harborview. Recently, Joe Miller wrote this post after visiting Mattie. He talked about how just as Heidi had to show love to Mattie by making him use his burned arm and leg, so God shows us love by allowing us to face difficulty in order to bring healing. As we visited for a few hours, I was struck over and over by how I saw Jesus through each of the people I was with.
Mattie:
In Mattie, I saw Jesus' care for others even while facing his own suffering. As soon as we arrived, Mattie was concerned because he didn't have a car for Nathan to ride in. He insisted we find a car for Nathan. At dinner, Mattie insisted we get a Gatorade and Jello for Nathan, and kept trying to share his food with Nathan. (Which was cute because Nathan kept politely refusing, and at one point leaned across the table, hid his mouth behind his hand and whispered to me something to the effect of, "I don't want to take his food." Apparently, Nathan had been listening well when we talked about how Mattie needed his veggies to grow stronger.)
Nathan:
In Nathan, I saw Jesus' love, compassion, encouragement, and patience. Last night, Nathan acted much older than a four year old. He kept telling Mattie, "You have to use your arm so it will get better!" and "Good job Mattie!" When they rode in the cars, Nathan was careful not to bump Mattie's car and went slow so that Mattie could keep up. He often drove behind Mattie so that Mattie would not be discouraged. As they played, Nathan was so careful to not bump Mattie's arm and leg.Right now, Mattie is very particular about how he wants things. Nathan was so patient-- it's hard when you're four to not get your way and to allow your friend to have his way. Finally, as we were driving home, Suzanne and I were talking quietly in the front seat. From the back, Nathan said, "I need some peace and quiet because I am so sad about Mattie." Later, Suzanne asked him if he would like for us to pray for Mattie. As she prayed, Nathan interjected his own thoughts. It was so precious to hear him pray for his friend. We also prayed for Mattie's roommate, who is also named Nathan, so our Nathan inserted, "not me," just in case Jesus got confused. :)
Heidi:
Joe already touched on seeing Jesus in Heidi, but there were a few things I wanted to add. Everyone who knows Heidi knows that she has a bubbly, friendly personality. Yet, I would find it totally excusable if she only focused on Mattie right now and didn't worry about anyone else. But that is not Heidi. Instead, Heidi continues to spread joy. In the cafeteria she asks the cook's name when she asks for a cheeseburger. She then turns to Mattie and reminds him to thank Hector for his cheeseburger and extra pickles.Mattie's roommate is a three year old who was also burned by boiling water. Heidi has befriended his mom, teaching her the ropes of hospital life and reminds Mattie to share with Nathan. Nathan is from Yakima and the rest of the family is stuck on the other side of the mountains, due to snow (Nathan was flown to Harborview). Heidi has surely lightened his mommy's heart and made this difficult journey easier to handle. These are only two examples of the many people that I saw Heidi shine God's love on.In Heidi, I also saw Jesus' strength and patience. She has been able to endure so much this week because her strength comes not from herself but from God. She relies on Him to get her through each day (often each minute). Because of her reliance on God, Mattie is learning what it means to trust God and to turn your burdens over to God.
Suzanne:
In Suzanne, I saw Jesus' friendship and generosity. Heidi will be the first to tell you that she and Mattie are both people-persons (or is it people-people?) and thrive on social interaction. Just as Nathan brightened Mattie's day, Suzanne being there brightened Heidi's day. Having her friends visit lightens Heidi's load and gives her energy to get through the times when she's on her own. Suzanne provided a listening ear and lots of fun. Heidi has had to buy her meals in the cafeteria. So on our way up, we stopped and Suzanne bought Heidi dinner.When we face difficulties, we have a choice: We can choose to say, "forget you, God" and focus only on ourselves, or we can choose to hold on tight to God and allow Him to work in us and through us. Last night, I saw God work in small and big ways through these four friends. It is often in our darkest hour that we are able to see God move in new and exciting ways. I am so proud of Heidi and Mattie's strength. It is so evident that it comes from Jesus, and that is why they are able to shine His love, joy, and compassion into the lives of others, even in the midst of suffering.Please cotinue to pray for Mattie and his family. They have a long road of pain and healing ahead of them still. The burn on his right elbow is not healing and may need surgery, so please pray for that wound in particular. As they remain in the hospital, they need prayer for continued endurance, strength, patience, peace, and comfort."

News from 2/1/08 "Race of Endurance"

February 1, 2008
As I sit here ready to write another update from the hospital, thinking this morning this message would be typed from the comforts of my home, my heart breaks. We have had a stressfilled morning:
Mattie woke up about 8:30 and got his meds in prep for his wound dressing tub time. He was not medicated enough by the time we started at 9:45 so he was in more pain than ever before. We deceided we need to medicate more during the night, even if it means waking him up (last night he slept through the night again). His nurse, Franny has been with us two days in a row now, working 12 hour days and is a God send! We adore her kind and gentle manerisms with Mattie and I, both. Jason did not make it in time cause of traffic and our earlier start, so I had to try to help in what my mind was prep for going home. The team of docotrs (a swarm of white coats, with mask on) came in again to view my little boy's bright red, burned body. They talked together and seemed to all agree that he needs to be here at the hospital longer...possibly surgery if the elbow joint area does not show improvement. It is the only part of his body not healing and the most needed area to heal. As their words swarmed around me, I felt myself becoming increasingly emotional. The tears swarmed down my cheeks as I held my little boy close, to my beating heart. Jason looked at me asking me if I was ok, and I bit my lip to show that I was trying to hold back. Mattie was already having such a hard time I could not bear him seeing me "loosing it" emotionally. Between the exhaustion of being in the hospital and the disheartening news of his recovery process, my world seemed to be crashing in. I wanted to leave the room, but all I could do was stick it through.
Now that we have shed some tears and had a bite for lunch, Mattie is with Jason doing some physical theraphy with some balls in their "gym" area. Jodi his therapist is great and encourages us to push Mattie past the pain for the better good of his body. I needed a moment and Mattie reluctantly went with them so I am trying to type as fast as I can in case he starts to hunt me down again!
As I wrote out the title of this email, my mind thinks of so many passages in the Bible about running the race. The race we are in is not of the body or time, but of the heart. Enduring through the pain, the setbacks, the trials of the heart and enduring with the strength that only our Heavenly Father can give. He will minister to me, and only give me as much as I can handle each day. I trust in the Lord and lean not on my own understanding. A good friend gave me a notebook to jot down praises we experience through this. Last night I wrote down three praises that happened yesterday, this was so relaxing at the end of the day to think back over what good happened, take account of it and praise God for it. They may seem little but it did make my heart rejoice. All the prayers are welcomed and encouraged by all, and know that your words, thoughts and prayers all minister to everyone in our family. I will update more later....
Blessings,
Heidi Bekken