I know this is overdue, but better late than never I will have to say! I have been meaning to write an update on how Mattie is doing cause a week does not pass that people want to know the status of his healing. I am so happy to report to you that he has been completely healed (meaning no open wounds since the end of March)!!! He has received 100% mobility into his arm and hip both. We did a lot of physical therapy at home and with the physicians at Harbor View. We need to keep the burned area moisturized and do physical therapy by way of massage daily. We still drive up to Harbor View for visits every six weeks for check ups. The doctors are impressed with his healing process just like the rest of us.
Mattie is continually amazing us with his determination; he was able to do the monkey bars with both arms just recently!
Thanks for all the support and encouragement every step of the way.

BIG Praise!!

Mattie was laying next to me last thursday while I was watching survivor on TV. I looked over and saw that his right arm was stretched straight out! This is the first time ever that he stretched it straight out without help. I called for Jason to come and see. When he came in and we made a fuss over his arm, Mattie decided to show us that he could stand up tall, sit up and bend over still while holding his arm out straight! You could tell that even he knew this was good after all these weeks of theraphy and hospital visits! The Lord is so good, to be healing his arm! This praise was in due time as I had been driving home less than an hour before this occurance and was feeling worried and fearful of his healing being so slow!
Mattie has continued to stretch out his arm, as well as bending his arm toward his shoulder. It really does make me proud of him and what he has accomplished through this ordeal!

Recap of the last week....

I am happy to report, Mattie is going well. The skin graft on his right inner elbow area was completed on Feb. 29th and we spent another 6 days in the hospital. After 4 days of recovering at home, we returned to Harborview for the bandages to be removed. The doctors all say he is healing really well, which is great to hear! The next step is to go back to doing physical theraphy on his arm. He needs to be stretching and using his right arm daily so that he will not have permanant damage to his internal muscles. We also learned at our last appointment that it is vital for his wound to have physical touch, without it his skin will not heal properly. We have a long road ahead of continual doctors visits in Seattle as well as special wrappings he will wear to help with the recovery. We are so grateful for the support and encouragement!

home stretch

So to all who are reading this and wondering if you should be sending us our Christmas Card to Harborview this year, I am happy to report that we are now home in Orting! It has been a long road and I am very tired. So without further information for tonight I am heading off to get some much needed rest in my OWN bed! yeah!
Thanks for the support.....
g'night

Melt down in the Cafeteria

Have you ever had a moment in motherhood, where you wish you could transfer the term "mom" to some other lost soul? Well that is my mommy moment from this morning. We had a tough night as you can read on the entry below, and to make matters worst, Mattie woke up at 6 am!?!?! I of course, being the smart mama I am, turned on the cartoon channel and went back to sleep (you know you all have done it!) until 8 am. Once we were up and going it was time to get some breakfast in the cafeteria. I asked Mattie, more than once if he wanted some yogurt and he replied, more than once that he did not. He opted for some peanut butter toast, muffin, fruit and eggs. We were in line and the man in front of us, had a meal voucher with no extra cash and went over in cost which made him give his yogurt back to the cashier to decrease the cost. Once he was done, I took the yogurt he had set aside and asked to have it added to my order. I thought, this will be a kind and giving gesture, as I needed to have a positive moment to start out my day. Once I paid for everything, I saw the man and handed him the yogurt, telling him that I hope he has a good day. Mattie saw my interaction as the man took the yogurt, thanked me and walked away. As soon as this occurred, a massive temper tantrum ensued! No joke, right in the front of the cafeteria Mattie, in his police car screamed at the top of his lungs "mama, no that is my yogurt! I want that yogurt, give me that yogurt" Thank God the man walked away so quickly as he might have felt guilty and tried to return it but now I was left with a tray of food, and a toddler out of control. He was crying and trying to make his way back to where the yogurt was and I was trying to stop him in the crowd as well as juggle the tray full of breakfast. I wanted to sink in the crowd and feel bad for the mother having to deal with an intolerable and tired child, but instead I WAS THE MOM! Somehow, through a prayer of patience and complete perseverance we made our way down the long corridor to the elevator which became another battle. He was trying with all his might to NOT get on that elevator and I was trying with all my might to GET ON the elevator! I wish this was just a funny story I read on a moms website but this is the honest truth. Mommy was ready for a melt down herself as the two of us, exhausted and bedraggled stepped onto the 8th floor. One of our kind nurses greeted us and tried to console Mattie but I knew he needed to eat and rest ASAP! So that is what we did and I lived to write this story (and not in the third person, I may add) so that you all know I am a real mom with crazy moments, just like so many of you.
P.S. DO NOT mention yogurt today as I made the mistake to tell the therapist this story and re-opened the floodgate of tears......

A very long day!

So it has been a long one....I had hoped that we would be out today but here we are at Harborview still. I finally was able to talk to the Burn Doctor on duty and got informed that we will be staying here until Wednesday to recover from the surgery. Wednesday is when the splint will be removed and the graft area can be viewed by all. I was hoping to have Jason come and relieve me tonight but he got mandatory overtime duty at work tonight and will not be home until the wee hours of the morning.
I was getting stir crazy again and asked God to help me think of a creative solution to the boredom created in the hospital, and he did not fail me! I remembered a speaker from our MOPS group sharing about making a MAP, like Dora, for running errands. So that is what I did; pulling out a large piece of white paper, markers and letting my creative juices flow I drew Mattie a Map that involved him searching for familiar things and then circling them once they were found. Once the hunt was complete, he got a treat from his favorite nurse, Pam. He was delighted and rested well at the nap he had, once it was done. Jayden, came to visit tonight and we worked on making a map for tomorrows hunt. It added joy to my day, and to Mattie's I am sure!!
Jayden and my parents came up to visit tonight, which was super fun! I got to spend some time playing on the PlayStation with Jay and talking with my parents, who are always supportive and encouraging. It was very restful since Mattie has had a hard night, falling asleep a little after 1:30 am. He was in some pain and discomfort and the nurse was not able to get meds right away. It makes me frustrated cause if I was home, I could get something to him quicker to de-escalate him. Instead he got wound up, and we walked the halls to calm him down, in a red plastic wagon which he finally fell asleep in, when the nurse finally got the meds! I better try to get some sleep....
over and out
this mom is checking out

Frustrated in Seattle

We are still here at the hospital, with very little reasoning in my mind. The doctor had told me originally that we would be here for monitoring Mattie's pain and to be certain he would not take off the brace on his right arm. He has only been given Tylenol for possible pain in the night, and one dose for the wound being unwrapped yesterday. He has been in great spirits, you would not know he had been through surgery as well as the fact that his arm brace has not been touched in the slightest. I guess all the prep work we did at home, talking and practicing keeping the brace on along with the fact that he does not have to wash it has made it a piece of cake.
I became frustrated all afternoon when I found out the weekend doctor had gone home, without seeing us all weekend. He came by this morning at 6 am, while we slept and never came back in. He relayed to the discharge nurse that we would not go home until Wed. when the brace is scheduled to come off. This made me upset and frustrated for a number of reasons:
1. I had been asking if we could go home after talking to the weekend therapist about how well Mattie has been doing. Both the nurse and therapist have implied to me they do not see the need to keep him here except we would be taking a chance that something could happen to his brace.
2. He gets little monitoring, I am the primary monitor with his nurses checking in on him, so really there would not be a difference, concerning the brace being monitored, if we were home.
3. The doctor had all weekend to see us, and did not make it a priority to meet with us and communicated with me, the patient's mother concerning decisions involving his care.
4. It is hard to be in the hospital, knowing we could be at home, only an hour away for recovery.

Just pray for my patience with this situation and that I would get some clear communication with the medical staff tomorrow on how best to care for Mattie as he recovers from the surgery. I adore Mattie's nurses, Pam and Abby who have been with us since we started on Friday and they have been very supportive to both Mattie and I. Thank God he gave us such wonderful nurses! I better go get Mattie into bed tonight as he took a short cat nap today and should be tired now.....

Wrapping up the day (3-1-08)

The wrapping on Mattie's leg, where the skin was removed for the skin graft, got semi-undressed this afternoon. Even though it was just the top layer of wrapping it did cause trauma and pain to Mattie. He was pretty resilient though in the fact that once we put his pants back on and he did not see the bandage, he was content to move on. He fell asleep at 8 pm, so we are going to be taking off his pants during the night to air out the dressing where the man-made scab is located. He took a great nap, so I am honestly surprised he is asleep already though he has been super hyper. As Vicky said, you would think he is on a vacation! He is having a great time, hanging out with his brother and grandparents this afternoon, chasing after his nurse Pam (who is willing to grant his every wish, except dinner out, of course!) and racing around in his police car. He used every ounce of energy I guess he had, cause he is out for the count. We will see if he wakes up through the night. Praying for mommies sake, he dosn't!
We moved rooms, or I should say the nursing staff moved our room, when we went to dinner in the cafeteria cause of some new patients admitted, so now we have a new room mate: a canadian couple with a 6 year old who had a skin graft surgery as well. We also had talk of being released, but that talk ended up disipating since we are still here. We are hoping to be released tomorrow, as things are going very well!
We have been very busy since we arrived so when my mother-in-law, Jackie, came this afternoon I took a good long nap, so now I will be up for awhile. Jason had to go back to work but he was able to be here all day, Friday, and was very supportive to me and Mattie. He gave me many back rubs and helped with Mattie so I could catch up with sleep after the operation. Our family is learning so much through this time about what is important-each other. We are so grateful for the loving and financial support so many of you have given to our family! The meals, cards and phone calls, gifts and so much more have meant the world to us. I am so blessed in so many ways and count these blessings daily! God is good.....
1 Corinthians 14:33 "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace."

Waking up in Seattle......

We had a great first night in the hospital, with about 8 hours of sleep, interupted only by 2 potty breaks by Mattie. Once he was going, his thigh started to bother him so they gave him some tylenol to help revlieve the pain and discomfort. He is doing really well, very talkative to all the nurses and other patients. He has a thing for our new nurse, Pam, who he asked to join him for dinner in the cafeteria last night! It was so cute, his first date proposal to a big person. She had to turn him down since she was working, but said she wished she could. Mattie's face went from a smile to a very sad frown, but he quickly moved on; mommy and daddy became quick subsitutes. He had a good appetite, eating most of a hot dog, bowl of fruit, curly fries and some jello! We had some excitement on the floor with police, hospital security and CPS showing up to investigate a situation with a family that had a little boy. I am not sure about what all was going on but Mattie was able to befriend 2 of the officiers who gave him stickers and entertained him, while they were here! I am amazed at how well he is doing, God is good! He is very happy about not needing a bath or wound change for a few days.
We are going to head to breakfast so I must go but I hope you all have a great Saturday!

Sucess at last!

We have had a sucessful surgery today! Praise God! We were up at 4 am to get to Seattle by 6 am, for check in. Mattie was very alert and aware of everything on the way, asking questions and engaging in conversation. Once we arrived at Harborview he was very hungry, but we were unable to give him anything to eat or drink in preparation of the surgery. Once we got into the "holding area" he was all smiles and flirting with the nurses and entertaining the other patients. I was able to dawn the hospital garb (including the hair net and slippers) and we were wheeled in together to the operating room. I held onto him for the gas to be applied, until he was completely out, then I was ushered out of the room. I had peace leaving him in these trusted doctors hands and knew that God would be with him, which was even more comforting.
Jason and I waited for only an hour and then Dr. Pham and our wonderful physical theraphist, Jodi came out and gave us a report on the surgery. They said all went well, but the hard part now will be the next few days (he needs to wear the brace for 5 days) and we have to be sure that it does not come off. He also has a man-made scab created to cover over the area skin was removed off his hip; this area will cause more pain since it is such a thin layer of skin, all the nerves are hyper sensative. They said he was doing good, still groggy of course, but ready for visitors. Mattie was relieved to see us, once we came in the room.
We ended up being in the recovery unit until 3 pm, due to no bed being available on the 8th floor, which lead to restlessness. Once we got up here, Mattie had already made a list of what he wanted to eat and do on the 8th floor. We are on the same floor, we were on the first hospital visit so he was very familiar. He wanted his yellow gown and pants, yellow slipper-socks, juice, graham ers and a mini box cereal. He took off the IV, allowing him to eat and drink. He is now, a few feet away watching a movie and playing a game with his daddy. Mattie is in a great mood, very excited actually to be back here with his little police car and familiar nursing staff! I am so glad he has handled this transition back so well, it makes it easier for me as well.
Thanks for your prayers, encouragaging words and support as we face this next stage of recovery for Mattie! We will continue to update everyone as often as computer access is available.

Re-Scheduled Surgery

So, we have an update on here already concerning Mattie's upcoming surgery: it has been re-scheduled. Dr. Pham had an emergency and we needed to change the day from Wednesday to Friday morning (6 am arrival!) This will give more time for healing and prayer to occur for our brave little boy. We do not mind the change as Jason and I already worked out our job schedules and will both be there on the day of the surgery. We know that God has all this in the palm of His hand and that there is a reason to even these small changes occuring.

As I completed Mattie's wound dressing on his arm (which is the only time of the day that it is uncovered), many thoughts came to my mind. We each have wounds we carry in our lives, some of us carry them in a very visable way for all to know and see, while others of us carry them deep inside. The wounds we carry are all different but feel the same...they hurt and are painful. Mattie gets fearful, of the wound cleaning time and will send himself into complete panic as the anxiety he faces will overcome him. Seeing this occur, I have learned to comfort him by reassuring him over and over again, in a calm voice that I will not hurt him and that I love him and want him to get better. I let him know, that I understand it hurts and give him hugs of support. I allow him to do as much as he can, on his own to care for his wounds; he will un-wrap the dressings and dab the area with his wet washcloth. When he cleans he is careful not to rub the areas that cause pain (as we try to repair our hurts on our own, the cleansing is not deep enough to heal, just to look and feel better for awhile). But then I will use the same washcloth, holding his arm still and quickly but efficently wash over the area removing all the old medicine and build up from the wound. (this is like what our Heavenly Father does for us, that we can not do for ourselves). He has learned that when I clean it, I will be fast and the process will go quicker even if it is painful and he seems to be trusting me more each day to care for him. Though it is a battle to release the washcloth from his hand to mine, he is learning to trust those who care for him to not cause harm to his body but care for him through the pain. (This is the battle I face myself, to trust God to get me through the pain of this experience with my son. I daily am passing him the "washcloth" in hopes he will make the process go by faster and that he will help Mattie's pain go away).

One question, I have been asked is what does Mattie know about the surgery? We have explained to him that we are going back to the hospital for another stay and the doctors there are going to help his arm get better. He seems content with that much information and trust that as long as he is with his parents he will be ok. We will be praying with him for God to heal him through the surgery, on Thursday night, as well.

Thanks again for the support and love you have all shown to us, and know that whatever hurt you are facing in your life, God knows your pain and hears your suffering. Lean on him for strength and trust him for your healing.......

Update on 2/22

"Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." Phil. 4:6

On the way up to Seattle, Jason and I prayed that we would have a positive minded Doctor, one that would share with us how Mattie is doing in a positive way. Well we got our prayer answered but not in the way we had planned to hear it.
I knew before we walked in the doors that Mattie's thigh area is almost completely healed as well as the back part of the elbow but the middle (where the skin is the tightest is) was not looking good. It was bleeding, looking very "fleshy" and bumpy. I thought this was part of the process as we do theraphy on it. Dr. Pham informed us that yes his thigh and back part of the elbow are almost all healed up, but the inner elbow was a concern. He said it is not healing properly, there is vertical healing happening which is when there are raised spots on the burn areas. This vertical healing will have lasting damage to his skin. Also he is still having problems using the right arm and at this point with the theraphy being done, it should be showing more signs of improvement and less pain, which is not the case. The doctor was very understanding and compassionate to us, as he informed us of the process of a skin graft surgery. He will have skin from his left thight removed and used on the elbow area, the process is about 1 1/2 hrs. long. Though the surgery is not what we had wanted, we do feel that we need to consider the best process to bring lasting healing to our little one's body. I did not leave feeling frustrated because my prayer was answered and God gave me peace in our decision. I realized it is all how I choose to see this situation: as a positive step in a right direction or crushing the hope of natural healing we had. I have chosen the first and have peace. A peace that only our God can give.
I believe in the power of prayer and ask you all to join us in praying between now and then for God, the great physician, to heal Mattie with or without the doctor's help. I have confidence in our decision to seek this surgery for our son after getting some good insight on how this will help him ultimatley recovery, though we still have a lot of work to do with theraphy once the surgery is complete. We have scheduled the surgery for Mattie, next Wednesday (2/27/08)morning at Harborview with Dr. Pham. He will again be recovering on the burn floor, at Harborview for 3-5 days.
P.S. Praise God for the healing done to majority of the burned area that Mattie started with! The healing done already has bulit my faith as I personally have seen His healing hand.....

Prayer for 2/20

Some of you have heard we have a Clinic visit up in Seattle at Harborview today. I am requesting prayer for the following items:
1. Mattie to be in a good mood and follow instructions
2. The Doctor would be optomistic about Mattie's healing, giving us good news
3. The theraphist, Jodi to be encouraged by Mattie's elbow movement
4. Safe travels and a good visit

The Lord is Good and he cares for Mattie more than we do. Whatever the outcome I know that God has him in the palm of his hand. I will be updating later tonight as we will pend the evening as a family! (picture of Mattie with his get well card pile! He is a loved boy)

Update on 2/17

Mattie is amazing! He is growing out of the pain as we progress through the physical theraphy daily! He let me put on his "arm straightener" without much more than a wimper the last two nights. He is more willing to do arm stretches as well, when he is distracted. He still hates wound changes on his elbow area, so please pray for healing. It is hard to get him to bathe in the bathtub, he refuses to sit in the water or shower. We end up just washing the wounds every other day, which is ok with the Doctor. His hip area is healing so well! I think by the time we go in for our Wednesday visit we will be doing minimal wrapping of that area! His elbow, is still a concern though. The back part of the joint is looking really good but the middle area is pretty torn up with all the theraphy we have to do on it. Thanks for your continued concern and prayers. We so appreciate our prayer warriers!!
At church on Sunday, Joey spoke of Hope (looking forward to something you really expect to happen) and I am leaning on the hope that God will heal Mattie's elbow without surgery. I need to hold fast to that Hope and trust the great physician to heal him.

Praise God!! 2/11/08

I was thinking all day about this one pesimistic doctor that comes around always talking about surgery....and finally I prayed that she would not be his Doctor today. I was feeling uncertain of his healing progress, at least in his elbow area . I knew the other areas were coming along nicely and was encouraged by that. God answered my prayer when a different doctor came in to observe Mattie's wounds! I was elated as his words flowed freely of encouragement over his progress, even in his elbow area. He said "...at this time we are not going to consider surgery! But we will be evaluating the wounds next week, as they seem to show singificant signs of natural healing."
So for now we are on a great path! God is so Good and I knew he would get us through this trial, without putting us through more than we can handle. Thank you for sharing in our good news and for praying for us!
We also had another praise concerning the car, the insurance is done with their process and the car is being worked on. FINALLY! So we hope tomorrow to get a call to pick it up! Yes!
I better get back to my boys, but stay tuned for the most current and interesting updates.......

As we approach Day 16

Tonight as I write this email, I have a lot on my mind. Mattie seems to be coming down with something as he woke up from a 4 hour nap with a deep cough, that sounds very congested. He has been home with very little interaction since the hospital stay. He ended up having the stomach flu the first night we were home for the 24 hour duration...yuck! I am feeling frustrated that he may now have something else, but not suprised as his immune system is probably very low right now. We are gearing up tomorrow afternoon for our doctor visit at Harbor View once again, this appointment is at 1 pm. His wounds are looking better from my understanding of the healing process. I am praying that the visit is good and very productive. I know God is the Great Physician and will not allow Mattie's body to go through more than necessary. One thing I have really enjoyed is all the cuddle time from my normally hyper 3 year old! Mattie is a blessing from God and we are so glad he has done so well.We are still struggling with using one car for everything! The insurance is slow to get someone out to look at the damage and until that happens we are a one car family. So tomorrow my mom is helping us out with the commuting process. Please pray that this things is done soon, as my patience along with Jason's is low right now. We are trusting God and he is faithful in every way!

Update on 2/9/08

Sorry this is late in coming, it has been busy! First I will go over the 2:00 Appointment on Wednesday for those who have not heard about that.....
We (Jason, Mattie and I) showed up,

and were told our appointment was canceled which lead to confusion for a little bit and then it was resolved with us seeing just the physical Therapist, Jodi who worked with us so more on using the splint to straighten his arm. We scheduled another visit for 2/11 Monday so pray for this time as the doctors will be considering the healing process.
Speaking of healing, his wounds are getting progressively better! I am amazed already at the speed of new skin coming in place. All the areas, minus the elbow joint and the thigh are looking so good. It makes me stand in awe of our wonderful Physician!! The help and support we recived at Harbow View was incredible and we got to grab our wonderful nurse, Franny for a quick update and photo together when we were there. She showed much concern and care for Mattie and I both, it really was a blessing.
Please pray for the pain we have to put Mattie through hourly as we bend his joints that he would have results from all the agony it causes, us all daily. It must be hard and I press on knowing it is for his better good.
As for this weekend, it is nice to be able to relax and hang with my boys! We got the bath time done this morning, which is the only time we see the wounds. I know God is healing my boy and it encourages my heart! Please stay posted for more updates......

Feet to Faith

At Cascade Christian where I work, there is a wonderful group of people I have been blessed to know that have extended so much to our family! The love, understanding, word of encouragement and praise alone have blessed me by email and in person. The Davis Family planned to put their feet to faith, and bless our family with a baked sale. Damon and Abby have shown concern for Mattie and our family from the beginning and to seeing them want to put this event on blessed me so much. I ended up working on Friday, which was the day of the baked sale and as I came in the doors there were two banquet style tables filled with baked goods! I was amazed at the response...until I saw 2 more banquet style tables full of even more baked goods in the cafeteria! Oh my, people had donated way above and beyond all of our thoughts! Before the sale even officially began they had collected $300 in donations! One child even had a plastic Piggy bank full of coins (piggy= around $100). Children in the hallways were asking me about Mattie and our family as well as teachers/parents. My heart was full of warmth as I realized how awesome it is to recieve this gift of love from so many!! God is Good! We will be getting the official amount collected at a little ceremony time that the whole school attends on Wednesday and from what I have heard, we will be blown away.
I will include pictures of the event as I recieve them, so that you can see the hands and feet of faith in living color!!

Update on 2/6/08

2/6/08
Who would have that the day before my BIG birthday, I would be driving up to Seattle (ok so maybe if it were anywhere but a hospital!)? I am going to pack a little bag of essentials just in case we end up being admitted back again. His little body is slowly but surely healing up. He had a hard day yesterday but today is doing better, with a full night of sleep. His arm is even bending more, about 80 degree angle I would say which is signs of big improvements, though I am not sure it is enough. These first few days set the tone for the next few months of healing and it is not going as well as the physical theraphist would like. Please pray for our 2:00 appointment and that we would be prepared for whatever the outcome.....

(picture of Mattie and his friend Hope at the hospital on our last full day, Sunday!)

Excerpt from MOPS Newsletter (christi)

Many of you know about what happened to Mattie Bekken, Heidi's son, a little over a week ago. Mattie was in the kitchen helping his mom and brother make dinner when he and his brother found a wishbone and they decided to make a wish. Pulling as hard as they could, Mattie flew backward and knocked a pot of boiling water off the stove and all over himself. It has been a tragic and trying week and a half so far for their family as Mattie had to be admitted to Harborview Hospital in Seattle where he and his mom stayed for more than a week. Thankfully, they are back home now, but by no means are they out of the woods. Mattie may need to have surgery on his elbow area because it is slower to heal than they had hoped. Keep Mattie and his family in your prayers.

Life can be so full of surprises, both wonderful and sometimes tragic. Things happen sometimes that are completely beyond our control. The only thing we can control is how we choose to deal with the circumstances. This story is incredibly sad and I will tell you that it was very hard to watch little Mattie struggle to even walk and get around when I visited him in the hospital. However, I am not writing this to tell you only about the struggles and the difficulties faced by Mattie and his family, but about the amazing story of strength and faith that underscores this entire event. Heidi has been responsible this last week for what is probably one of the most difficult things she has ever had to do. When Mattie is hurting, she tells him to keep going for his own good. The doctors have told her that in order to heal properly he needs to be moving his arms and legs. This is so painful for him and Heidi not only has to watch him hurt, but urge him on no matter how hard it is. In addition, she has had to learn to bathe and clean his wounds which included rubbing the burns. I know that all of us can relate to how challenging this must be. Some of her closest relatives even fainted just watching, but Heidi pushes on. How? Here is an excerpt from an email she sent out the fifth day of their hospital stay:

"As I write this email, my mind thinks of so many passages in the Bible about running the race. The race we are in is not of the body or time, but of the heart. Enduring through the pain, the setbacks, the trials of the heart and enduring with the strength that only our Heavenly Father can give. He will minister to me, and only give me as much as I can handle each day. I trust in the Lord and lean not on my own understanding."

Heidi has the choice right now, she could sit back and look at the circumstances and feel overwhelmed and like giving up, or she can choose to draw her strength from the Lord, trusting that He will never give her more than she can handle. She knows that He is in control and as she looks to Him, she has found the verse to be true where Jesus says, My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. She is weak and circumstances are beyond her control, but He supplies her with the strength she needs. Just as little Mattie's healing relies on her strength to push him on even when it hurts, she knows that she can count on God to provide her with the strength needed to persevere even when it seems too much to handle. It is in these times of great suffering and need when we realize our own inability to control difficult circumstances that we can find the victory in Christ. By choosing to give Him full control, trust and love we know that He will see us through and that our race will not be in vain, but to His glory.

Update on 2/5/08

2/5/08
We had a hard first night at home....after days of sleeping all night at the hospital it was not our luck last night. I went to bed late after trying to put together this blog and as I closed my eyes I heard Mattie's little voice calling to me down the hall as he stumbled his way into our room. He was smelly as he wet himself and was in pain from the bandages shifting. I did what I could for him to try to create comfort but about an hour later he arose vomiting in his sleep. The entire 5-6 hours until the sun came up are a blur of vomiting, apply medication to burns and trying to comfort without touching his sensative skin.
We called the burn clinic once it opened and they said that since we are coming in tomorrow they were not concerned about the vomiting. He had that condition when we first started at Harbor View.

2/4/08 "Home"

" Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home "

As we drove into Orting, I have never felt so comforted! The thought of having privacy, not seeing a nurse at 4 am to check Mattie's vitals and give him meds alone comforted my heart as we rounded the corner onto our street. The signs on the door made by Jackie (Jason's mom) and Jayden greeted us: "Welcome home Mattie!" and comforted Mattie and I both. We immediately settled in on the couch, exhausted from the day....even with all of our "Load" from the car surrounding us!
I need to give an update on our discharge process and departure of the hospital before I jump ahead of myself:
We finally got our therphy time with Jodi, which was the most challenging part of the day. She was quite discouraged about his elbow joint. There was concern of it not healing correctly, and she considered having Mattie stay another day or so. I was feeling so discouraged and we talked about what HAS to be done, to heal. The discomfort and agony he faces as we force his muscles in his elbow to contract may torture our hearts but it is for his good. Easy to say, hard to carry out. I was honest with Jodi and said I have already faced so much being his primary caregiver for the last 8 days straight and having to do intense theraphy on top of it while in the hospital would not be healthy for him or I. I honestly felt the only chance we had was to work on things in the comfort of our home. We consulted the doctor who agreed to letting us give it a try and then return for a evaluation on Wednesday in the burn clinic.
Having said this you can imagine our joy once Mattie had his regular clothes and shoes on, and decided to walk and race us in the halls! He only walked with a slight bend compared to the normal hunchback walk he was doing for most of our hospital stay! He ate 1/2 a hot dog and a bowl of fruit as well as veggies (the most he has eaten). People did not look at him funny or ask questions as looking at him you could not tell he had any medical problems. Mattie still was itching but the complaints were minimal. I was praising God as I already am seeing a change in him, because of the change in enviroment....
I know the Lord is healing his little body and it gives me joy to be close enough to obseve every step of the way! (The pic above is Mattie's new skin on his hand as the old falls away!)

Homeward Bound

Feb. 4th, 2008
We are on the homestrech of leaving the hospital...but it is going to take awhile to get out of here. We had to push up tub time today from 8:30 am to 11:00 since we have had a hard time yesterday evening and this morning with itching wounds which lead to little sleep (for both mama and baby boy). The doctors and nurses are encouraged by the itching and sensativity to the wound areas because that means that there is healing going on...but it means there is more pain to manage. We had to do majority of the wound dressings on our own, which was challenging. Before we head out we are have to have a physical theraphy session with Jodi which means we should be home late today. Going home will be more comfy but there is a long road ahead. We have a long road to full recovery, with or without possible surgery. Please remember us in your prayers, and we will keep you updated!

Our wonderful Children's Leader at church, Vicky was such a blessing to us! She not only came up to visit us with Suzanne and Nathan, but also arranged for her sister (who lives in Seattle) to bring us dinner for Saturday night! She has a heart of gold and true wisdom from above. You can see her heart as she writes this message on her blog. Vicky, you are a gift to know and I am so blessed by you! Thanks for caring for and supporting us through this trying time......

Friday, February 1, 2008

Seeing Jesus
"Yesterday, I went to visit Mattie Bekken and his mom, Heidi. Suzanne and Nathan met me after work and we drove up to Harborview. Recently, Joe Miller wrote this post after visiting Mattie. He talked about how just as Heidi had to show love to Mattie by making him use his burned arm and leg, so God shows us love by allowing us to face difficulty in order to bring healing. As we visited for a few hours, I was struck over and over by how I saw Jesus through each of the people I was with.
Mattie:
In Mattie, I saw Jesus' care for others even while facing his own suffering. As soon as we arrived, Mattie was concerned because he didn't have a car for Nathan to ride in. He insisted we find a car for Nathan. At dinner, Mattie insisted we get a Gatorade and Jello for Nathan, and kept trying to share his food with Nathan. (Which was cute because Nathan kept politely refusing, and at one point leaned across the table, hid his mouth behind his hand and whispered to me something to the effect of, "I don't want to take his food." Apparently, Nathan had been listening well when we talked about how Mattie needed his veggies to grow stronger.)
Nathan:
In Nathan, I saw Jesus' love, compassion, encouragement, and patience. Last night, Nathan acted much older than a four year old. He kept telling Mattie, "You have to use your arm so it will get better!" and "Good job Mattie!" When they rode in the cars, Nathan was careful not to bump Mattie's car and went slow so that Mattie could keep up. He often drove behind Mattie so that Mattie would not be discouraged. As they played, Nathan was so careful to not bump Mattie's arm and leg.Right now, Mattie is very particular about how he wants things. Nathan was so patient-- it's hard when you're four to not get your way and to allow your friend to have his way. Finally, as we were driving home, Suzanne and I were talking quietly in the front seat. From the back, Nathan said, "I need some peace and quiet because I am so sad about Mattie." Later, Suzanne asked him if he would like for us to pray for Mattie. As she prayed, Nathan interjected his own thoughts. It was so precious to hear him pray for his friend. We also prayed for Mattie's roommate, who is also named Nathan, so our Nathan inserted, "not me," just in case Jesus got confused. :)
Heidi:
Joe already touched on seeing Jesus in Heidi, but there were a few things I wanted to add. Everyone who knows Heidi knows that she has a bubbly, friendly personality. Yet, I would find it totally excusable if she only focused on Mattie right now and didn't worry about anyone else. But that is not Heidi. Instead, Heidi continues to spread joy. In the cafeteria she asks the cook's name when she asks for a cheeseburger. She then turns to Mattie and reminds him to thank Hector for his cheeseburger and extra pickles.Mattie's roommate is a three year old who was also burned by boiling water. Heidi has befriended his mom, teaching her the ropes of hospital life and reminds Mattie to share with Nathan. Nathan is from Yakima and the rest of the family is stuck on the other side of the mountains, due to snow (Nathan was flown to Harborview). Heidi has surely lightened his mommy's heart and made this difficult journey easier to handle. These are only two examples of the many people that I saw Heidi shine God's love on.In Heidi, I also saw Jesus' strength and patience. She has been able to endure so much this week because her strength comes not from herself but from God. She relies on Him to get her through each day (often each minute). Because of her reliance on God, Mattie is learning what it means to trust God and to turn your burdens over to God.
Suzanne:
In Suzanne, I saw Jesus' friendship and generosity. Heidi will be the first to tell you that she and Mattie are both people-persons (or is it people-people?) and thrive on social interaction. Just as Nathan brightened Mattie's day, Suzanne being there brightened Heidi's day. Having her friends visit lightens Heidi's load and gives her energy to get through the times when she's on her own. Suzanne provided a listening ear and lots of fun. Heidi has had to buy her meals in the cafeteria. So on our way up, we stopped and Suzanne bought Heidi dinner.When we face difficulties, we have a choice: We can choose to say, "forget you, God" and focus only on ourselves, or we can choose to hold on tight to God and allow Him to work in us and through us. Last night, I saw God work in small and big ways through these four friends. It is often in our darkest hour that we are able to see God move in new and exciting ways. I am so proud of Heidi and Mattie's strength. It is so evident that it comes from Jesus, and that is why they are able to shine His love, joy, and compassion into the lives of others, even in the midst of suffering.Please cotinue to pray for Mattie and his family. They have a long road of pain and healing ahead of them still. The burn on his right elbow is not healing and may need surgery, so please pray for that wound in particular. As they remain in the hospital, they need prayer for continued endurance, strength, patience, peace, and comfort."

News from 2/1/08 "Race of Endurance"

February 1, 2008
As I sit here ready to write another update from the hospital, thinking this morning this message would be typed from the comforts of my home, my heart breaks. We have had a stressfilled morning:
Mattie woke up about 8:30 and got his meds in prep for his wound dressing tub time. He was not medicated enough by the time we started at 9:45 so he was in more pain than ever before. We deceided we need to medicate more during the night, even if it means waking him up (last night he slept through the night again). His nurse, Franny has been with us two days in a row now, working 12 hour days and is a God send! We adore her kind and gentle manerisms with Mattie and I, both. Jason did not make it in time cause of traffic and our earlier start, so I had to try to help in what my mind was prep for going home. The team of docotrs (a swarm of white coats, with mask on) came in again to view my little boy's bright red, burned body. They talked together and seemed to all agree that he needs to be here at the hospital longer...possibly surgery if the elbow joint area does not show improvement. It is the only part of his body not healing and the most needed area to heal. As their words swarmed around me, I felt myself becoming increasingly emotional. The tears swarmed down my cheeks as I held my little boy close, to my beating heart. Jason looked at me asking me if I was ok, and I bit my lip to show that I was trying to hold back. Mattie was already having such a hard time I could not bear him seeing me "loosing it" emotionally. Between the exhaustion of being in the hospital and the disheartening news of his recovery process, my world seemed to be crashing in. I wanted to leave the room, but all I could do was stick it through.
Now that we have shed some tears and had a bite for lunch, Mattie is with Jason doing some physical theraphy with some balls in their "gym" area. Jodi his therapist is great and encourages us to push Mattie past the pain for the better good of his body. I needed a moment and Mattie reluctantly went with them so I am trying to type as fast as I can in case he starts to hunt me down again!
As I wrote out the title of this email, my mind thinks of so many passages in the Bible about running the race. The race we are in is not of the body or time, but of the heart. Enduring through the pain, the setbacks, the trials of the heart and enduring with the strength that only our Heavenly Father can give. He will minister to me, and only give me as much as I can handle each day. I trust in the Lord and lean not on my own understanding. A good friend gave me a notebook to jot down praises we experience through this. Last night I wrote down three praises that happened yesterday, this was so relaxing at the end of the day to think back over what good happened, take account of it and praise God for it. They may seem little but it did make my heart rejoice. All the prayers are welcomed and encouraged by all, and know that your words, thoughts and prayers all minister to everyone in our family. I will update more later....
Blessings,
Heidi Bekken

Touching Blog

Please read this touching blog our pastor friend wrote after seeing us in the hospital. It ministered to me to hear another perspective as they observed our situation as well as to see the loving and touching words written in such a powerful way. Joey, you ministered to me tonight as I read this and I am eternally grateful! Blessings to you all!
http://www.morethancake.org/2008/01/when-love-conquers-compassion.html :

"She walks her son down the long hospital hallway. People scurry about and take no notice of the suffering mother and child. Mattie holds firmly to his mom; in part to keep his balance, but mostly he wants to feel her warm hands in his own. “I’m tired mom. Please, I want to sit down;” but she does not let her son stop. He has to keep walking. He must exercise his limbs or his body will not heal. Only two days earlier Mattie was burned when a pot of boiling water was knocked from the stove; severely injuring his arm and leg. Pain now fills Mattie’s three-year-old body, but his mother’s love must force her son to walk. It takes every ounce of strength to resist the urge to pick up her son, to hold him, to comfort him, and to let him sit in his little red wagon. If Mattie is to recover from his burns, love must conquer compassion. Holding back the tears, a mother’s love must force her son to experience suffering. Healing is on the other side of pain.Where are you along life's path? Do you hurt? Does no one stop to notice your pain? In the darkest moments, you cry out to your god, “Where are you now! If you are real… if you are really loving… Where are you now when I need you the most!” Anger is a constant companion. Sorrow seems like the only escape from depression.Only when your “god” becomes Father will you understand. Only when you experience a love that forces you to walk will you know rest. You must pass through the agony before the ultimate healing comes. Step after painful step; hold firm to the warm hand of the Father and know true love that conquers compassion."

News from 1/31/08

I spent about 30 minutes typing an email to everyone, while my parents put Mattie to bed, about an update on the day and as I was ready to send it off the stupid hospital computer shut down and it is all lost! ugh! I write these emails to keep everyone informed but also so that I can have a blog form for myself, so it was quite discouraging since I am not wanting to write it all again!
I will try to do my best and well see how it goes......

The Lord is teaching me to be ministered to, it can be hard sometimes to be on the receiving side of things and I know right now I need to say yes as much as I can. The body of Christ is the hands and feet and mouth of all of you that have offered to help our family and I am amazed! Just the emails alone are a source of love to me since I have the love language of encouraging words.
Mattie had an emotionally challenging day, today. It is so hard for him to have little control in his normally routine world, on top of the pain he is in. I was trying to be patient with him as he slowly lost his patience, with sometimes the smallest things. There was some challenges today with little friends sharing "his toys" in the playroom here on the ward. He has a room mate that is 3, Nathan who also has burns from boiling water, so it has been a good situation for us to be with them in more ways than one. Pray for them as it will be a long process to get "home". Having a buddy helps him to get out of bed and into their police cars to play in the hallways, which is great physical therapy for them both! I thank God for this change of rooms as well as this family.
We have had some good visits with friends throughout our hospital stay which boost all our spirits, being boxed into these hospital walls. It can make you get cabin fever but my social spirit gets fed through interaction with the hospital staff as well as our visits with friends and family, emails, voice mails and text messages...please know that I appreciate you all!
Mattie has a favorite nurse named Joe, that he got a picture with tonight. He laughed with Joe when he said Cheeseburger instead of Cheese! It was cute. He also has a favorite food, hamburgers and hot dogs from the grill man, Hector! He makes Mattie happy with his yummy food, that he is eating more of each day. Last night and at lunch today he ate an entire hot dog. His ability to drink juice, is about normal! He is a juice-a-holic normally and the hospital has a constant supply by just asking. He pushes his nurse call button and ask for juice himself now, as well as his pain meds....I usually end of translating most of what he says but it is cute to hear him trying to communicate. He has a favorite activity, riding in his flinstone style police car, mentioned above, that gets him around quite nicely. He took it down to the cafeteria to get his lunch and on the way back up to the elevator, he got exhausted and threw his yellow, ducky blanket on his head, in his little car and wanted to sleep right there in the hallway! I started laughing and wish I had a camera to capture this moment. He had a highlight tonight of having his friend, Nathan M. come out and play. Yesterday, Luke C. was here with him, so he has had his own buddies come for visits. Both boys responded well to Mattie and played very well with him, being gentle with touching his body and activities with him.
Mattie was able to walk a lot tonight without holding onto anything! Big Praise! He was also using his arm alot tonight as he played spider man memory game with our friends. He had a great sense of humor at dinner as he ate his "salad" piece of lettuce mimicking cookie monster! It was super cute!
Now we await the morning, Jason will be back to change the dressings with me at tub time, which is when we get evaluated on his healing from the doctors. We will hear from the docs an opinion of his release. I am eager to leave, but nervous of being in charge of his care and recovery at home. The recovery is going to be quite lengthy from what I have heard and seeing Mattie this entire week in the hospital. Continue to pray for us and first chance I get tomorrow to update you all I will, for sure.
Much love, Heidi

News from 1/30

Thank you all for your continual support, thoughts, prayers and visits. Everything right now is ministering to us! We have had some ups and downs today:
Morning started out well, with a complete night of sleep for Matthew! Praise God! He quickly started interacting with new little friends that are on our ward, played with them for majority of his physical theraphy today. He is so social and really was theraputic for him to do so.
We went if for our morning tub wound dressing process at 11 am and after many doctors viewed him, was deemed un-ready to return home. The extent of his wounds and possible infection are of concern for all. We now are going to be reconsidered on Friday for a possible release.
We had some visitors, who were great to see suprise us all and spent time sharing and praying together. We have so enjoyed seeing those we love and care for visit, recieve calls, and get messages from.
Matthew is now sleeping at 3:30 this afternoon, in his red flyer wagon. We have been able to meet other families on this ward and are getting tenative care from most of the hospital staff.
Update on the car: we sent it in for repairs, which will take a few days and have a high deductable to cover ourselves. It still blows me away that someone would be so heartless!
Thanks for listening and when I get a chance I will update with more info....
Heidi

Praise from 1/28/08

Praise God for email in Hospitals! I came with very little...a camera in my purse, a jacket from home and a heart full of prayers...and I came across this email from MOPS international:

Life is full of challenges – keeping up with all the activities I have going on, taking care of my child in a troubling situation, coping when my husband is deployed. Each of us have challenges in life. Thankfully, we have the hope that God will help us through the things that without his help would defeat us. He is with me throughout my challenges always willing to help, promising never to leave.

Prayer From a Mother's Heart
Dear God, teach my child that no matter how difficult the circumstances I may face, you are always there with me and have promised never to leave my side.

I am not only learning to trust God through this experience but teaching Mattie as he watches me through this experience to Trust God to care for his body. It will be amazing to see the power and wonder of our GOD who is the best physician, restore my little Mattie to his normal, healthy self!
Heidi
P.S. Pray our room mate does not keep us up tonight with her loud snoring! Oh Lord, keep my sanity! We would not mind a room change, and suggested it to the nurse!

News from 1-28

As I sit here, composing this email on the ward of the burn unit at Harbor view, I am trying to collect my thoughts and emotions. I have just spent a few minutes catching up on emails sent from dear friends, and crying from the encouraging words and love spoken through your messages.
My eyes glance from this screen to my little boys serene face as he lays on the couch across from the fish tank, a few feet away. He has been at peace because of the he in on right now. He has only been awake for less than an hour since his wound bath at 10 am this morning. He of course is a trooper and am amazed at his strengh through out this ordeal.
To catch everyone up to speed on what has occured, I will give a brief run through. We were preparing a quick lunch on Sunday and decided at the last minute to switch from tuna salad to egg salad. The boys wanted to make fruit salad with yogurt and were on the same counter as the stove is located. Jayden's eye caught a wish bone on the ledge of the window and he and Mattie decided to pull it apart to make a wish. Through the process of pulling, Mattie fell backwards and somehow hit the pot of boiling water down on top of himself as he landed on the floor. I tried to grab him and quickly pulled him out of the scalding water (leaving a small burn on my left hand). As fast as my hands would move, I pulled off his shirts and overalls, to see skin peeling off his little , , body. He was screaming the entire time. I dashed down the hall and turned on cool water as I lowered him carefully into the tub. All the while asking Jayden to bring me the cell phone, to call my mother in law who I knew was coming home. She helped get some ice packs made, as Jayden got me a towel and blanket. We got in the car about 15 minutes later and headed up to Good Sam. Good Sam quickly decided we needed to be transfered to Harborview, but the process to get there was not quick, waiting for an ambulance. About 3 hours later we were taken into the ER at HB and treated well and knew then we were in good hands. Jason, along with our close family members have been with us until late last night. It helped to have their support, through this time.
Mattie has 2nd degree burns on his right arm (where the top layer of skin is missing around his elbow area which is very dangerous for the nerves since that is a major joint and the skin is already tight there). The majority of the burn is from his right buttuck down below his knee on his right leg but it does not wrap around there, it is on the outer thigh. He has a few other minor burns elsewhere but is doing well. We will be here at least until Wednesday maybe longer. He will be in physical theraphy and I will be recieving burn treatment training for him as well, before we can leave.
Please pray for our stay here but mostly for his healing process to go qickly and heal with no physical damage to his body. Pray for the strength of our family to face this time of ordeal and stress. Lord knows how much we can handle but comforts us with his presence and love. We thanks God daily for all of you and the encouragement felt already. Mattie as all of you know is so full of life and zeal, God will restore his body and spirits daily and I trust this to get me through. I know God is giving me strength already as I can tend to faint in these kind of situations, but I have remained calm and levelheaded even at the time of the injury...Praise God!
The best way to contact me is to text me and I will try to respond as I can. Voicemail is also ok, and I think I should be able to get more computer access.
You all are such a great support and I appreciate all of you,
Heidi